Sun on the brain

Howdy from El Nido. This, it must be said, is a very very pretty place. And surrounded by world class island hopping options and some nice fish life for snorkling (coral, yet again, nearly destroyed though). After just two days in El Nido the locals are getting to know me and calling out greetings. One could grow roots and swing in a hammock in a place like this for a long time before getting fed up with it. However, tomorrow "Ride the Joe" and I are riding off into the sunset (well, sunrise more like) as I set off on a seven hour boat ride to Coron, a town smaller than this on an island even less developed than Palawan.

I was talking to the owner of Ride the Joe yesterday, an American man who has lived in the Philippines for 13 years now. He has only just got the permits to do the run from El Nido to Coron. The process took forever and he had to grease a lot of palms to get things done. Apparently bribes go under such colloquialisms as "express" (how could I express my application) or "massage" (could we massage my application to run smoothly?). And yet, even with all the back rubbing and express deliveries he was doing, it still took three months to get the paperwork done.

My brain feels addled from too much sun (the sun is FINALLY with me!), heat, salt water and breathing though a narrow plastic tube. Also a slightly restless night chasing a giant cockroach (the size of a small mouse and I kid you not!) with a bucket to throw it out and listening to the night call of a gecko (they are noisy lizards) and ten regional representatives of fishermen and boat men who were having a meeting outside my beach hut until 4 a.m. to choose a new regional representative.
I therefore feel I thoroughly deserve the full body massage I am about to get. It is, apparently, a Swedish massage. What does that mean? Do even the Swedes know?